Robert closed the bedroom door behind him and left the lights off. He felt the chill coming from the closet although the cold air now enveloped nearly the entire room.

04/19/2015

 

Robert saw his parents, but they were much younger and resembled the teenagers he’d seen in photographs. His mom and dad stood in the old living room of the house Robert and his brother grew up in. Somewhere a radio played “Under Pressure,” repeating only the line, “Let me out! – Let me out!” in a seamless loop. It was nonsense but familiar and unsettling. He was dreaming. His mom looked at him and waved him over, “Robert, come look,” her voice a near whisper, “Meet your baby brother.” She leaned over and looked into a foldaway playpen.

“My son,” his dad said, “He’s beautiful.” He put his arm over Robert’s shoulder, pulling him in close. His aftershave still smelled peppery and sweet. Robert looked into the playpen and saw a baby, his younger brother, Peter. He recognized his smiling, chubby cheeks, preserved in distant memory. Robert’s father squeezed his shoulder and looked past him at mom. They were full of pride and happiness and just starting out their lives together as a family. For the first time in his life, Robert saw his parents as they must have seen each other when they fell in love. The warmth passed between them and over the baby. Except for Robert, his brother, and his parents, the entire room was empty.

Robert woke up to the sound of his alarm clock. It was Wednesday. He got dressed, grabbed his laptop and left for work. He tuned the car radio to 102.3, catching the end of “Stairway” slipping into “Under Pressure” before he turned it off completely. The small office design firm he worked at took up three storefronts in a strip mall built on top of his own father’s old lumber yard. He could still remember playing with Peter during the summers, running around stacks of freshly cut wood, the smell of pinesap sticking to everything they touched. He remembered sometimes being in the car with his dad after he sold the place, driving down this block when it wasn’t on the way. Robert thought of calling his brother and telling him about his dream. After their parents passed, Peter moved out east with his family into an airy, two story colonial with a finished basement. It had been a while since they spoke and would have seemed odd to call him out of the blue and tell him about a dream. They have always been close but Pete’s family kept him busy.

Pete met his wife at Adelphi University when they were both in the graphic arts program. He got a job doing web design for a real estate company and eventually began working with them, while Janice freelanced as an interior decorator. Peter was on his way home after a meeting when Leia was born two weeks early. It had just begun to snow and although he had traveled the Southern State Parkway hundreds of times, he got lost. A fine white powder dusted every inch along the side of the road but wouldn’t stick. The blizzard hurled dry snowflakes across the pavement and at the windshield. The only indication he was still on the road were the dark and bare tree branches reaching up into the graying sky like lost souls. Peter drove almost half the length of Robert Moses State Park before he found a spot to make a U-turn. The wind over the causeway, whipped into torrents and tossed him helplessly. By the time he arrived at the hospital, both Jan and Leia were fast asleep, wrapped together in warm linens. Three years later when Michael was to be born, Peter took two weeks off work.

Two and a half months ago, he noticed a draught in his closet. After tying his shoes, he ran his hand along the baseboard and then searched the small space for cracks along where the ceiling met the walls. Nowhere could he find the source of the chill, it just simply felt cold inside. Without sharing any exterior walls, Peter knew the air wasn’t coming from outside and there wasn’t an air duct inside the closet. He ignored it until a few days later when his wife mentioned it.
“Jesus Peter, it’s like an ice box in here,” Janice said to him.
“It’s getting colder I think.”
“Aren’t you going to do something about it?”
“It’s really only just inside the closet though.”
“Something is wrong. Call your brother and have him come help you fix it.”
Robert was a project planner, not a craftsman like his father, but Janice knew the brothers had learned a thing or two from their old man. When Rob picked up the phone, he answered with genuine enthusiasm.
“Pete! I was gonna call you. How are you doing? How’s the kids?”
“They’re good. Leia had off for Easter but she went back to school yesterday. Jan still has her hands full with the baby. You know, ‘the terrible two’s.’”
“Yeah, I bet. And God knows those Hamptons yuppies couldn’t be bothered to decorate their own stupid foyer.” Robert said the last word with his nose pinched in the air. “So what’s up?”
“Well, I think there’s something wrong with our bedroom closet. It has a really bad draught.”
“A draught? It’s been warm all spring.”
“I know, but Janice wants you to look at it. Before it gets worse I guess.”
“She knows I design offices right? I’m not a carpenter. Is it getting worse?”
“Yeah. I want you to look at it too. It’s actually pretty chilly.”
“Alright. Can I come Saturday? I want to surprise the kids. It’s been a while.”

When uncle Rob arrived, Leia poured over the front steps to the house like a rushing flood, splashing into his arms before he could reach the front door. She asked, “What did you bring me, uncle Robert?”
“Leia!” Janice snapped. “You don’t ask for presents!”
“It’s okay Jan,” he said, clutching the gangly five year old like a paper bag full of groceries. He told the girl, “Maybe we’ll go for ice cream after I help daddy, okay?”
“Ice cream!” She squeezed Robert tight around the neck and dug her knobby knees into his sides.
“Go inside and wash your hands before lunch,” said Jan. Leia slid out of her uncle’s arms like Houdini and seemed to ascend up the front porch in a fluid but graceless movement. She left the front door open and Peter walked out to greet his brother.
“How was the drive?”
“Not bad. I took Monday off. Is three days too much?”
Peter hugged his brother, “Not at all. The kids are so excited.”

After lunch, Rob, Peter, Janice, and the two kids went up to the master bedroom to look at the closet. When they opened it, nothing appeared out of the ordinary, but it was definitely very seriously cold.
“Jesus Pete, it’s like a friggin’ ice box, what did you do?” Rob said, still peering at the rows of collared shirts and winter coats.
“That’s what I said!” Janice tugged on Peter’s arm. “Pete, tell him that’s what I said!” She went on, “I can’t even get dressed in here in the mornings anymore, it feels so – ”
“Be quiet for a second,” Rob said to her.
“What?”
“Just a minute.” Everyone was silent, letting the icy air from the open closet roll out around them in invisible, tidal swells.
Leia barely stood still. “It sounds like crickets,” she said.
“Yeah. That’s what I hear too.” Rob turned off the light switch and closed the door.
“There’s crickets in my closet!?” Jan asked, her face colorless and eyes wide like a bug.
“I don’t know. I don’t think so. Let’s go downstairs.”

Downstairs, everyone sat in the living room facing each other while the kids played.
Pete asked, “Should we call an exterminator and try to fix the closet another day?”
“Do you two mind if I stay in the room tonight? To see if I notice anything like the AC or leaky windows or something?”
“Not at all!” Janice jumped to her feet. “I can’t stay another night in there! First it’s freezing, now it’s infested! It’s weird, I don’t like it!” Already halfway up the stairs, Janice said, “I’m going to get my clothes out of that godforsaken room.”
“How long has it been like this?” Rob asked.
Pete answered, “February. It’s been getting worse.”
The two brothers followed her into the bedroom and found Janice standing in front of the closet, quietly listening.
“Do you feel that?” she answered. “It’s like the door’s not even there.”
“What do you mean?” Rob said.
“The crickets, I can still hear them. If feels like we’re outside. The cold air…” She trailed off.

Later that night, Robert drifted into sleep and he could feel it too: the closet felt like it was open to the night air. He could hear crickets but couldn’t be sure if they were coming from outside the bedroom window. He slept without dreaming.

In the morning, Peter and Robert both stood inside the closet with barely enough room for them both, searching for the source of the cold air. They wore winter jackets taken off the clothing rails. “I already checked for cracks but maybe I missed something,” Pete said.
Robert brought a step ladder into the tiny room, and placed it in the center while Pete crawled on his hands and knees trying to squeeze by. “Check the baseboards and I’ll see if I can feel anything up here.” They used their bare hands to search for any sign of incoming cool air, but it was so cold and nearly impossible to tell. “What about these lights?” Rob said. “Did you put them in? Maybe there’s a gap in the attic,” though Robert knew air from the attic would be warmer.
“What?” Pete said.
“I asked you about the lights.”
“I still can’t hear you. Turn around and face me.”
“For Christ’s sake Pete, I’m standing right here. For the third time –” Before he could finish, Peter stopped him.
“You notice something?”
“What?”
“Our voices. It doesn’t sound like we’re inside. They’re smaller.”
Robert realized their voices, indeed, carried much farther and seemed to continue on open air. He got down off the ladder and came back with a screwdriver. He took down the light fixtures, leaving two empty black holes in the ceiling and his brother watched. Together, their shadows grew longer and shorter, and grew darker where they touched in the swinging lights.

Downstairs, the kids ran around the house. The two brothers came down and found Janice toasting a leftover bagel. “I don’t think I’m going to church today,” she said.
“It’s 9:30 already. And you’re still in your robe.” Peter said.
“Yeah. Well, the kids are excited to see uncle Rob and I figured today would be a good day to get some stuff done around here anyway.”
Rob saw the kids running through the living room and knelt down to catch them. He caught baby Michael, giggling and nearly toppling over. Leia came without slowing down and charged straight into her uncle’s arms.
“Oof! You guys are getting big!”
“Uncle Robert, can we go get ice cream?”
“It’s too early! Pee-yoo! One of you smells!”
Leia giggled with her big, gummy smile and baby teeth, “Mom! Poopy dipey!”
“Not it!” Janice took her plate to the table without looking back.
Peter picked up the toddler, “Ugh, man! What did you eat?”
Still holding her, Rob whispered into Leia’s ear, “Let’s go get ice cream! Go put your shoes on before mommy and daddy yell at me and we’re both in trouble!” He turned to Pete, trying to hold the bucking, squirming boy’s feet together with one hand, wipe, and hold a clean diaper at the same time. “I’m going to the store. Leia’s coming with me.”
“Cool. Booster seat’s in my car. Text me incase Jan needs anything. Wait, where are you going?” he said, but Rob was already out of the house.

They drove past the ice cream shop, though he knew it didn’t open until later.
“Oh man, they’re closed!” he said to Leia.
“Aww! Well…” she stammered, unsure of her words, “maybe we can we just get ice cream at the store?”
“That’s a great idea!” Rob said.
At the grocery store, Leia picked out a box of ice cream sandwiches for everybody. Robert looked through the glass, ice collecting at its edges.
“Are you getting ice cream, uncle Robert?” she said.
“It’s a little too cold outside for me to eat ice cream. Ice cream reminds me of summertime.”
“Me too,” she said.
Rob bought a big insulated cooler bag with pockets. He got a box of matches, a battery powered lantern and extra batteries, a box of cereal bars, and three 32 oz. bottles of expensive water.

That night they all had dinner together and went for a short drive to the historic downtown. They walked and peered through store windows and open doors before returning home at nearly 10. Both the kids were exhausted. Peter and his wife, and Rob read the children a story from their picture bible since they all had missed church earlier. They turned to the story of Jacob’s ladder and how he dreamed of a ladder between heaven and earth and how angels traveled between the two. When Jacob awoke he knew his was the land of God and the ladder was a gateway to heaven. Peter and Jan put the kids to bed and went downstairs to sleep in the living room.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” Robert said.
“Alright, Goodnight Rob. See you in the morning,” Janice said.
“Don’t let the kids wake you up!” Peter added before shutting off the hall light.

Robert closed the bedroom door behind him and left the lights off. He felt the chill coming from the closet although the cold air now enveloped nearly the entire room. He opened the door and there was a soft white light from somewhere high above gently touching just the tops of the empty coat hangers and remaining articles of clothing. Robert could see past the clothing rail as if the walls no longer touched one another and was now simply a clothing rack suspended before a faraway curtain of stars set in a clear, navy sky. The crickets chirped their nighttime symphony like so many thousands of beaded water droplets, dripping into a still pool. There was no echo of the large bedroom or empty closet, just sound across open air. Robert bent down and picked up an ice cream sandwich, still tightly wrapped in wax paper. It was firm and cold in his hands. He took his cooler and stuffed it with everything and grabbed his lantern. He put on one of his brother’s coats and bit into the frozen ice cream. Bag slung over shoulder, Robert stepped through the closet and parted the hangers in front of him. He took a deep breath and let crisp, cold air fill his nose and lungs with the sweet smell of earth and pine. He took a step past the rack of empty hangers and could hear leaves crunching beneath his shoes.